I was in the 1st grade. Some kid punched me in the stomach while we were all in a crowd walking to class. I remember the moment very clearly because I started crying from the shock of the moment. As I sat there still trying to move slowly with the crowd of kids one of the older kids in 5th grade looked down at me and said, “Hey kid, don’t cry.” I remember being confused. It’s like he didn’t understand why I was crying. As if me stopping my cry would somehow end my pain. I knew it wouldn’t but then I realized he was looking at me and so were the rest of the kids. So I stopped or tried at least. It was my first experience with the thought of big boys don’t cry. If I did cry then I would be acting like a baby. But Life has taught me that it’s ok to cry. It is actually needed. I want to show you why.
What are tears?
Tears are wet weakness leaving your body. No. No, they are not. Tears are a sign that you are emotionally unstable and can’t handle life? Nope, not that either. Tears are actually a natural human reaction to life’s problems. The first words a child speaks when they are born are not actual words but tears. They cry out and scream and wail. I have no proof of this but I believe they do it because they are being born into a fallen world and they know it. God told Eve she would have childbirth in pain. I think kids feel every ounce of that pain. They feel the weight of being born into a new system run by someone besides God. Many people see tears as a sign of weakness. But I don’t. The world we live in is broken. It has many problems and it reeks of injustice on many levels. Not just in America but in every country you could think of. There are always powerful people taking advantage of those without. There are always stronger people taking advantage of the weak. If you can’t cry it’s not because you are too strong and have no room for tears, it could just be you live in a bubble and don’t want to face the horrible reality of someone else’s life. If for no other reason tears show us the truth of our imperfection and our greatest triumphs. Separately, tears of joy are the most amazing thing to me. I remember when Alabama football won a national championship with Tua throwing a touchdown pass in overtime. I was personally going through a lot of changes behind the scenes and experiencing that win overwhelmed me. It helped me forget my depression and my status in life for a moment. I was so surprised I didn’t realize I had tears until I sat down. I literally touched my face wondering what the liquid was. It was a great odd moment. Tears are not bad at all, they are normal. If people hate crying they hate being human, they hate being normal.
Why do we need tears?
Crying shows us an emotion that rarely happens in life. Empathy. You can really tell someone is experiencing something when they cry. Jesus is about to go to Lazarus’s grave. Lazarus was a great friend to Jesus. Lazarus had two sisters who came to Jesus to say if he had been a little earlier He could have healed Lazarus. Both sisters tell Jesus they believe in him being the resurrection of life. But then after that moment, Jesus does something different. John 11:35 “Jesus wept”. There is great speculation of why Jesus wept as he doesn’t talk anymore. No one asks him why he wept. The crowd just assumed he wept because he lost a good friend in Lazarus. But the bible tells us Jesus knew he was going to raise Lazarus from the dead. It’s why he didn’t go to heal Lazarus immediately at the news of his being deathly sick. So why did Jesus weep? I don’t think that's the best question. I think the better point here is Jesus cried. What he cried for is not as important as understanding that Jesus allowed himself to weep in front of people and be real with his own emotions and situations. Many men today hate the thought of being vulnerable and crying. But Jesus who is King of Kings and the greatest man to ever live doesn’t hesitate. He cries so much that they can only say “Jesus wept.” Many places in the gospels will say “and Jesus cried out with a loud voice”. Jesus allowed his emotions to show in great and powerful ways. The reason men are weak in our society is that they are too strong to show emotion. They are so worried about being strong that they don’t allow themselves to show the truth of what they are going through. They hide behind ignoring their weakness. Paul says he boasts in his weakness because he is strong through christ when he is weak. David cried out to God many times in Psalm. Even though David was thought of as a man of war. One of the greatest. Tears show us the honesty of life. If someone can’t cry then they can’t feel the moment. The truth is we should cry for the baby that was lost at birth. We should cry because of the sins of the world that separate us from God. Crying shows our commitment to caring about the world around us. We are a nation full of men who don’t know how to care about the world around them because they believe it is a failure to cry. But this world needs us to care. It needs us to cry for it when it doesn’t know a God who chases after them.
How do we start crying?
I need to admit something. I rarely cry. As I’ve gotten older it’s not that I don’t want to cry I just don’t. I see moments in my life that are sad and in other people’s lives and I’ve learned to look at it through the lens of understanding instead of introspection. I tend not to focus on what makes me sad. I can barely handle my life's sadness let alone the sadness of the world. But I remember listening to a song a long time ago. It asked a question. “Does your heartbreak”? It was talking about all the problems we face in this world from men being blind to kids that go without food. It asks the question that I think is important to why men don’t cry. Can you care about someone enough to cry for them? Sometimes there is nothing we can do but feel for those who are without. But even still, the first step of change and making a better world is not just giving handouts but giving a caring thought to those without. If you can’t care about people then you can’t love them. Jesus tells us that we are to love our neighbor as ourselves. When I hurt I cry. When something happens to me I feel sad for myself in a way. Sad for my plight. Sad for the things I can’t overcome. Jesus tells us the same way you love yourself, love your neighbor that way.
There is a shorter word to describe Jesus’s command to Christians and it’s called empathy. Even if you deserve the worst punishment you thank God when you don’t get the full punishment. God in his rightful place as creator judges us with punishment for our sins but through repentance and acceptance of Jesus as Lord, we never get the full penalty of our sins. In the same way, we experience freedom through Jesus you should want that same freedom for others. A true mark of a person who loves Jesus is someone who cries for the lost and hurting. Someone who cries at his own sin. Many people have no remorse over their own sin therefore they can’t cry over it. It’s not because you don’t cry it because you haven’t cared yet. True care about people will evoke not only strong emotion but strong reaction. Empathy leads to action in the gospel. We don’t just care about people we care for people the same way we care about ourselves.
My nephew is 3yrs old and he feels everything. Every slight, every time someone disrespects his personal space. He feels it all. Whenever his brother or sister takes something he was playing with, it hurts his emotions on a deep level. Now I’m not saying we should be cry babies. As you mature you cry less and less because you learn to care about more mature things but we should always be able to cry about the things that hurt us. Some people ignore their relationship with God so much that you never get a chance to cry. When you don’t mature spiritually you cry about stuff when you should be crying about souls. When you don’t mature spiritually you not only don’t cry but you bottle up the spiritual experience that God means for all of his children to go through. This is the experience of maturity in Christ in Romans 12: 15- 18 Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. 17 Repay no one evil for evil but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. 18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. The problem with crying is not that men shouldn’t do it. The problem with crying is it can only truly happen when we embrace empathy that comes from living out a life with the heart of Jesus. Jesus loved people, so must we. Jesus had compassion and empathy for people, so must we. Jesus wept, so must we. If your version of Christianity doesn’t cry out to God about the problems in this world then your religion is the problem in this world.
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