Proverbs 18:21 ESV
Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.
(In the Bible, God said, let there be light and light appeared. God merely spoke and the Sun and Earth responded to those words. Jesus was walking by a fig tree and cursed it. A day later the whole tree withered.)
When I was in the second and third grade we walked home to my grandmother's house because it was pretty close. I had a bully. Every time he saw me he decided to try to beat me up. He would call me names. It was an all-around horrible experience. I remember seeing him down a street leading to my grandmother's house one day. I didn’t even go the right way. I ran in the opposite direction. My sister walked with me. She was one grade under me. I left her, one block away from my grandmother’s house.
I don’t remember my grandmother’s address. I don’t remember my first day in the second or third grade. But I do remember my bully. He was tall for our age. He usually towered over me. Today I am a bigger guy but as a kid, I was scrawny and small. When I walk down the street most people avoid me. Nowadays the only people that approach me are homeless people that need something. The thing about the bully wasn't the fist he used on me. It was the words he said to me.
Words have a way of changing you beyond what you can see
I was talking to my Dad the other day and he said when he was growing up as a young man of three kids, something always bothered him. He always thought he could do better than where he was in life. Better financially, mentally, and spiritually. Those words pierced through my ears into my core. I have never thought about doing better. You see the thing you might not know is I don't value my life. I have literally never tried to do anything hard. I have no awards. I don’t have any achievements. I have never been the best at anything. I have never tried to be great at anything I've done. I’ve never even tried to be average.
It occurred to me when my father said that he knew he could do better that I have never considered it. I’m starting to realize that the words my bully told me stuck to my soul in a deeper way than i have ever realized. I have never wanted more. I have never wanted to do better. I am in a place in my life right now where I have more and I am doing better. I’m beginning to realize that my life is not just what I can see. There are an infinite amount of possibilities. The world is not run by bullies and evil words. It’s born on the impossible. It’s waiting for us to see past the words that are used against us.
The first time I heard that verse in Proverbs was in church. I didn’t understand it then. I couldn’t see how powerful words were. But now it is all obvious to me. Words change us. They have meaning and power. Words define us. Our very bones answer to words. In the morning my alarm will go off and it's just a lady speaking with music in the background. That's enough to wake me up every day. Meanwhile, If a tornado goes off or if the end of the world happens I would probably never know if I'm asleep. I’ve always been a deep sleeper. I remember reading how people wanted us to call them a pronoun instead of their name. At first, I thought it was the dumbest thing I ever heard. I didn’t even remember what “pronouns” were. Now I realize why it matters so much. Words are powerful.
What you call someone has meaning
I know my family loves me. Sometimes when they call me, they don't say Gennie, they say, Bubba. It used to be a joke because my best friend was white. Back in high school, we were inseparable. Now it's a badge of honor for the fact that we grew up together. It speaks to our history. We knew each other so closely that only they would know of that name. The words from my bully made me feel like my life didn’t matter. I carried that with me into my adulthood. The words from my family made me feel appreciated and known.
Words affect the way we think. The way we see other people. How you define a word defines you. How you see a word determines how you see the world. I remember I was online once and I said something that was out of the Bible. This guy called me liberal. He didn’t say anything else. I remember thinking i have no idea what that is. It felt negative but it meant nothing. The conversation was over. He said one word and neither of us cared what the other person thought. That's how powerful words are. Maybe he would become my best friend. I will never know.
Words create connections
The way we use words as humans undermine our ability to connect and grow. The world we live in is controlled by words. Not possibilities, not abilities, but words control where we live, who we live with, and why we do what we do. Left and right. Progressive and traditional. Saved and doomed. I remember in my 20’s I left the church and when I went back I ended up at an all-white church. I was there for 7 years and never once thought about dating the girls that went there. The problem wasn't me, the problem wasn't the girls. It was words. I was black they were white. But those are just words. I’m literally not black. I’m more of a brown hue. I fit into their world but not their marriage prospects. I was a great friend but not a possible husband. It just never happened. I don't resent that but now that I'm older I can easily see how I'm single. I didn’t stay in my lane of words that fit the words of my culture. Black, local, traditional, known.
A lot of times when i listen to stories of how couples get together it's usually someone that introduces them. The kind of person that I am would never meet a girl alone. I would have to be introduced because I’m shy. I hate flirting. Rarely dated. Don’t like dating apps. In many ways, i feel I was born to be single but those are just words. Single is a word I’ve let define me for so long. But no man is born for anything. We decide who we are. We can grow to become better and change our lives. There is more to life than what you can see. I believe that. Words are powerful. So is the human spirit. The power of words is found in our obedience to them. The fig tree obeyed Jesus. The Sun answered God in the book of Genesis. Those are things that were created without freedom. We have freedom. We are free to live, free to dream, and free to be more than the words people give us.
Living by the words of people that don't love is a sad way to live
Even trying to live by the words of the people that love you can be a mistake. People didn’t create you. They don’t know your full potential. You don’t even know that. The world waits for you to try your best. It temps you. It questions you. Gravity holds you down so you will know you should go higher. I am in a place in my life right now where the world is forcing me to forget my past and focus on where i am right now. Life is telling me to focus on the words that I am giving power to. That's the thing about power, it's given. How we live decides where our power lives. How we ignore words decides what we have access to. One of the most powerful things is the words we ignore. They affect us and we don’t admit it. But on the inside, they eat away at our value and worth. Words affect bones. Words are too powerful to ignore. Words create and destroy. May we all learn how to see the power inside of us and the prison other people's words have left us in.
May you find freedom from words
May you see the ocean of possibilities. May you grow past the fences they laid for you. May you see yourself as you are and not as they see you. May you be what you can not be. May you confront the words that hold you in place. May you overcome the words they don’t say. May you be more than strength, more than power, and more than death or life. May you be more than words.
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