I read an article about men being the leader of their home. The more I think about it the more I hate it. Everything I read in the Bible points to something that doesn’t fit into society’s norm. The word “leader” has a different meaning in the world than from how Jesus taught and lived. If Jesus lived today he wouldn’t be a mega pastor. A lot of people would call him a false teacher because of his radical teachings. Jesus has this amazing ability to draw people to him and then teach them something about the gospel that was really hard to follow. The gospel is not easy. It takes faith, patience, and change.
Jesus acts like a silent woman
I’m super single. One of the things I see a lot of in dating apps is types. They sell you on finding someone who is the same type as you. For me, it’s a broken system. If you marry someone who is the same as you then one of you isn’t needed. When I try to get a new job they will give me a survey to see what type of worker I am. When honestly, I have no idea. I've never worked this job before with the people at that job. It’s the habit of the world to try to fit everyone into a type or category. However, Jesus comes along and tells us that the category doesn’t define our usefulness to God. Jesus taught this, Jesus lived this and he died to prove it. He was silenced to give us a voice in the Kingdom of God.
Jesus is the alpha male
Everyone during Jesus’s time knew that a Messiah was coming to Isreal. He was promised by God to save God’s people from the powers of this world. Jesus was described as the ultimate alpha male. He would conquer his enemies. He would bind the nations to himself. He would save all those that ask for it. No one would ever be better than him. He was supposed to be the “goat” (greatest of all time) of existence. They believed that Jesus would crush the Roman empire who at that time ruled everything they touched. The Jews were subject to their rule but not enslaved. They followed Jewish customs but obeyed Roman laws. The Messiah was going to be their king forever. Not Ceasar. He would decide what the law meant and show us who God is. The birth of Jesus was so well known that the Bible comments on Harrod who had all kids killed among the Jewish people in order to get rid of this future king.
The Messiah wasn’t a story of a legend, he was a sure thing. However, when Jesus starts his ministry he isn’t an alpha male. He isn’t another caesar. He is not another prophet who calls down fire from Heaven. The problem that some people had with Jesus is he didn’t want to be popular. After doing a big miracle he would often tell people to keep quiet about it. Often he would do a remarkable thing that could draw lots of crowds, but he went to pray in seclusion. People searched for him. He was the people’s champion who spoke up for the people. He talked in such a way that made the Bible(OT only at this time, obviously) seem like God cared about the prince and the pauper. That God loved the rejected as well as the accepted. That God wanted something more than just to control our lives but to exist in the very center of our being.
There is a verse in the bible that simply says, Jesus spoke with authority in the scriptures. Not like someone who was trying to understand God but someone who knew him fully. Jesus was the ultimate alpha male. He knew everything. Confidence dripped from his sweat. The sea obeyed him. The birds bowed to him. The fig trees died when he got mad at them. He was like a king of the world around him. Despite all of this power Jesus only used it sparsely. Jesus spent most of his time teaching what kind of kingdom he was bringing. It wasn’t the kingdom of an alpha male or a quiet woman. It was the kingdom of God and God loves the world not categories.
The problem with alpha males and silent women
Jesus is about to be taken by guards to be imprisoned by the Jewish leaders. Peter and a few other disciples are with him. When the guards come to take Jesus, Peter steps in and cuts off a guard’s ear. Peter’s alpha male activates in order to kill anyone that hurts the true king, Jesus. Jesus tells Peter to stop and says, “those who live by the sword will die by the sword.” Jesus then heals the guard’s ear and goes quietly with the guards. I don’t Jesus was trying to teach a lesson on self-defense. I believe he was explaining to Peter something that alpha males don’t get. You can’t kill your problems. Look throughout history. At every point, men have controlled things by killing those they disagree with. It’s why they shot MLK. It’s why Abraham Lincoln was assassinated. Their way of thinking was so opposite to the current way. It’s the alpha male way that if you can't understand something, kill it. If you can’t agree, fight it out. If you can’t agree just silence the opposition. But Jesus doesn’t fight like that. Instead of killing the opposition, he dies for them. Instead of destroying the Roman government, he invites them into the kingdom of God through belief and forgiveness. Jesus understands humanity and knows that violence begets violence. Jesus knows that silence is not the answer for women.
The death of quiet women
There are a lot of women in the Bible named Mary. Some people believe they are the same Mary and some different. The part that matters though is how Jesus interacts with them. When the disciples find Jesus at a well they find him talking to a Samaritan woman. They are puzzled. Why? Because she is a woman. Jesus was a Jew and Jews didn’t talk to Samaritans but more importantly, Jesus was a teacher and women didn’t need to learn. But Jesus not only talks to her he also empowers her to teach others about who he is. The interesting thing is Jesus doesn’t actually say he is the Messiah with anyone else before he tells this woman. Jesus reveals his full message to a woman, not a room full of men(students). The women at the well became the first evangelist of non-jews. She spoke boldly to the people in her town about Jesus. The people believed.
Mary (one of the many) and Martha are in a home with many guests listening to Jesus talk. Martha notices Mary is listening and she gets upset that Mary isn’t helping. Martha tells Jesus to instruct her to stop listening and clean. Jesus tells Martha that she is so worried about everything but Mary has chosen the best thing and he will not take it away. Jesus not only encourages women to talk about his kingdom to groups of people like he did to the women at the well but he teaches women to learn about the kingdom of God just like the men learned.
The death of the alpha male
Jesus is on trial, being accused of many things. Pilate takes Jesus to a quiet room and explains to him that he holds power over Jesus’s life. Jesus replied, you only have power that has been given to you. It’s the problem of the alpha male. They always seek control and power. It’s the antithesis of being alive for a guy. If I control the situation then I have power. If everyone does what I say then I’m the clear leader. However, Jesus knows what real power is. The power an alpha male has is only what is given to him. The power of the kingdom of God that Jesus talks about is not found in control but letting go. The power of Jesus’ kingdom is found in our cross, not our achievements. Mat 10:38 - 39 “And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.” Jesus then proceeds to kill the alpha male in the most gruesome way possible. By being a leader and dying for his people. By being a conquerer and letting go of his power. By being in complete control of everything around and letting it all go.
When Jesus dies the disples are in shock. They lost all faith. The alpha male died. He didn’t end the roman empire. He didn’t change the religious hypocrisies. He didn’t build his kingdom like they thought he could. If Jesus had decided to build his kingdom like an alpha male then Rome would have been defeated. Everyone would bow to the God of the Jews. The world would start over completely. But instead, Jesus submitted to the cross, freely. In the kingdom that Jesus is bringing being a man isn’t about power. It’s about serving. Mat 20:26 “Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant.” Being a man isn’t about calling all the shots in your home. It’s about doing whatever it takes to help them succeed in the thing God called them to do. That's what Jesus did for the church. Instead of being the imperial leader that called all the shots, He died for us.
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New in Christ
Now we men are not tasked with being a leader that controls but a leader that leads by example. We are not alpha males charged with ending the rebellion of our families agonist our desires but we are christ like examples who show our families how to serve others. If you want to be a great husband, serve your family don’t order them. If you want to be a leader in your home don’t control everything that happens, be a part of everything that happens. Be like Jesus. Forgive, have compassion, heal your family, allow for differences. Most of the disciples were not similar. If you want to be a woman that followed Jesus then speak out. Listen to what the big boys are saying. Learn everything. Grow your spiritual, mental, and emotional life if you want. Before Jesus came men and women-only lived a certain way. But now that we are in the kingdom of God we understand that God doesn’t desire alpha males and quiet women. He only wants willing people who are not ashamed of the gospel.
God didn't call men to be the boss of their home, he called them to serve. God doesn't need more John Wayne's. He is looking for more John's (like in the bible) that faithfully serve him until the end. He is not calling men to take charge but to take a knee in humility. God doesn't need more dicks. He needs men who know how to love women without having to sleep with them. God doesn't need more obedient silent women. He needs outspoken bold women who will run to the disciples to tell them Jesus has risen. He doesn't need more pretty girls. He wants more women at the wells of their depression to let their well buckets go and speak with joy about being found.
I want to make it fully clear that I have no problem with people that are alpha males or quiet women. Some people just like being quiet and some people like being in charge. I have nothing wrong with it. I’m simply saying that Jesus didn’t come to make these things the point of being alive. The greatest man that ever existed wasn’t alpha, He was alpha and omega. He wasn’t putting women in their place, he made room for them. A lot of time people will look at the way the world is and assume this is how God wants it to be but history has proven that culture rarely reflects God’s plan. He doesn’t need a certain type of man or woman. He just wants any that are willing.
Joe 2:28 - 29
“Then, after doing all those things,
I will pour out my Spirit upon all people.
Your sons and daughters will prophesy.
Your old men will dream dreams,
and your young men will see visions.
In those days I will pour out my Spirit
even on servants—men and women alike.”
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