There is a saying that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. I have no idea why you would cut open a guy's stomach just to get his attention but dating is tough these days. Gotta do what you gotta do I guess. I wouldn’t have a clue how to tell you to get to my heart and make me love you. Except for gummy bears. Outside of that though, no idea. I’ve been a single man since I was born. I must admit that dating has never been easy for me. Making friends is easy but dating is like...a fake friend. That you have to try and be interested in but not too much or its called stalking. Every guy and girl should know where that line is. It’s when you find her grandmother on facebook before the second date. You’ve gone too far, slow down.
Being single can be hard because relationships are so seductive. The desire for someone to care about us is written in our DNA. We long to belong. We reach out to be reached out to. But here I am at 37…or 38...or some old number with nobody. I do have a hand full of friends and a suttle addiction to gummy bears that's somewhat healthy; in Germany, probably. There is this song by Marshmello “Know me”. In that song, he basically just says “everybody knows me”. I like the beat but the simple lyrics show me just as much about myself. We love to be known. The discovery of our souls is the greatest patent ever invented by the human psyche. It’s why facebook blew up. It's why social media is so addictive. It’s why my 7-year-old niece cant stop watching youtube videos that are basically people playing with dolls(of which I do not enjoy at all). We love to be known and to known others.
However if your single that's not happening a lot of times. When you're a kid you don’t notice how deep that desire goes. The older I get the more I realize that if I don’t act on that desire Ill always fill it with something else. And sometimes that something is...um...what's another word for very bad? Very very bad. I have found that the more I ignore my desire to be known and my desire to know other people, I always miss out on something that is truly beautiful about life. You might wonder why I named this title “gummy bears, guns, and wishes”. That’s because these three things describe how people know me in different ways. I like gummy bears (obviously). But when I was in middle shcool I had people randomly come up to me and say “Gennie’s got a gun”. Which is cool but if you don’t know the song it's very awkward. They would always sing it with joy and excitement. I would just laugh so no one would be scared of me and think I had a gun.
Then, of course, the Christina Aguilera song “Genie in a bottle.” I’ve been asked to grant wishes all my life. I haven’t granted one. Cause I'm not a genie, I’m Gennie. I’m saying all this to make a point that people never got to know me they just associated things with me. That's a type of living that people do. They don't ever get to know anyone for who they are they just acknowledge what they associate with. As a single guy, this type of lifestyle is taxing on your soul. Since I'm not in a relationship with anyone in any deep connecting way I still have to find an avenue to be known and to know others. The ability to connect with people in a meaningful way is just as important when you are married and single. Being single doesn’t take away your need to know others and being married doesn't take away our need to be known by others.
Having relationships through an association is nice because it's easy to do but the easy route is not always the best route. It is very easy for me to ignore the people I work with. It’s easy to not talk to anyone I see at church. It’s easy to just text my friends and never go see them because our schedules don’t match. However, all these things are horrible for your ability to know others and to be known. I loved reading a book series called, “The Wheel of Time”. In this book, there is a main character who is constantly dealing with the problem of not being known and not knowing others. When he is a farm boy all the characters expect him to act like a fighter. When he becomes a fighter other characters expect him to ack like a king. When he becomes the king all the characters expect him to act like a savior. No matter what he does he constantly has to deal with people that know about him but never know him. He also is dealing with the inner turmoil of not knowing himself.
This is why I named my article the way I did. I wanted you to know that it's possible for people to know a lot about you but still not know you. It's easy to allow yourself to not ever be known. Luke 12:7 And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows. This is Jesus talking about God knowing who you are down to the numbers of hairs you have in your heard. God doesn't just know facts about you. He knows things about you that you don’t even know. This why my journey as a single Christian man has been so up and down. The world promises to give you answers to being known. The way the Bible describes how God knows you sounds like something the world could never give. There is a lot of fear in trying to be known and connect with others.
Jesus says don’t worry about life, you are known. Because God knows you, He loves you more than He does his own creation. We are talking about a planet that has lasted billions of years. If God has taken care and put so much interest into this earth how much more do you think God has invested into us? Jesus said God cares about you and knows you. I think that's the desire for everyone. We not only want to be known but we want to be cared about. I think that's the most important part of being known. God cares for us and knows the worst parts of us and still decides to make himself known to us. I believe it's worth it to try to get to know the one who deeply and completely knows you. Those are the best relationships to have. When the knowing is mutual. I think that's why we should not only try to know God more but know ourselves and others in deeper ways that go past just facts and desires. The most shallow thing in the world is when someone tries to love you for what you give and not who you are. It is the same way with God. He doesn't want you to know stuff about Him or what he gives us alone, He wants you to know Him more than anything else. You might think you know yourself, but if you don’t know God then you are missing out on a lot about yourself. He knows you. I think its time to be known. It's easy to hide not being known when you're a single guy. But I don't think that's what God intended for anyone, single or married.
I’m glad to call you friend.